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We’re gonna go for a cure. That’s what my oncologist told me from the very start, so I kept that in mind throughout the treatment process. I drew my strength from other people too – like my family, friends and co-workers. I didn’t ever want to give up or think that I wouldn’t be here. And now I’m here and it wasn’t terrible. I was lucky.
We’re gonna go for a cure.
My breast cancer was discovered when I was 53. It came out of the blue – I was eating right, exercising and wasn’t under a lot of stress. I just went in for a routine mammogram – my "beauty shot" as I call it. That reading led to a needle biopsy and eventually a surgical biopsy. This took from October to December and was the most stressful time. It was hard not knowing – being so afraid and not wanting it to be something dreadful. At the end of December, I got a call at work saying that the tests were positive for breast cancer and that I needed to have a mastectomy. It startled me how it leaped from not so serious to extremely serious in those few months.
I stayed at work that day and my friends rallied around me. That night, I decided that I didn’t want to wait. I found out on a Thursday, and that Monday I went in and had the mastectomy. The day after that, I went shopping for a wig. I just wanted to be prepared and tried to keep my life as normal as possible.
On the day of my surgery I still had bandages on my breast from the surgical biopsy. I don’t think I grieved about losing my breast. I felt I was matter of fact about it and wanted to move on to my new “normal.” My surgery was on December 22nd and I returned to work on January 5th. Going back to work, I just wanted to look normal on the outside, and my mastectomy bra and prosthesis were all I needed for my confidence to return. I could look anyone in the eye that day and they could look at my chest and see that I looked the same! When I got to my office, my desk was surrounded by angels – pictures, magnets, sculptures, everything. It was wonderful. And I actually didn’t miss work throughout the entire process except for my surgery, chemo, radiation and check-ups.
After my surgery, chemo took six months, and then with the radiation and with my hair falling out, in total it took the full year to go through the whole process. All of my doctors were so helpful and they made everything bearable. And my family was so supportive, especially my husband. He shaved his head, slept on the floor next to the bed so he wouldn’t bump me and went with me to all of my chemo treatments. My daughter and granddaughter were incredible too. My granddaughter was just old enough to know something was going on. She also knew that my mom passed away from cancer, so that was scary for her. When she came to see me in the hospital, she looked at me and said, "You still laugh the same." It just took her a little time to get comfortable with everything that was happening.
I waited almost four years to have reconstructive surgery. And I’m so glad that I did it. It’s more comfortable for me and I’m more comfortable with myself. It was just a personal decision – one of the many things that has helped me get through all of this. I prayed a lot too – once with my minister and my husband in the middle of a grocery store! And talking to others has made a difference. People would ask me how I was doing, and I realized that I wanted people to ask me anything. I didn’t want them to be afraid, so I tried to be as open as possible and talk about it.
Overall, I feel like I have a second chance. I know it could’ve been a close call, it could’ve turned out differently. I know it doesn’t always turn out this way. And it was important for me to keep that in mind so I didn’t become sad about it and think, “Why did this happen to me?” I also think it has been positive because my daughter, my granddaughter and my sisters are now more aware of the disease. That’s why I’m so passionate about research and finding a cure. Knowing that there isn’t a direct genetic link in my family is reassuring, but the fact that it is so prevalent – my father, mother, two aunts and cousin all had various types of cancer – is scary. My secret hope is that my daughter will never have to go through this.
I will have my five-year anniversary on December 21st. As of next June, I won’t have to see my doctor any more or be on my cancer meds and I’ll be considered cured. My advice to others would be to keep believing that there will be a cure and never, never give up. Trust your doctors, and know that when your wait is a little long at their office, that they’re probably taking extra time with someone who needs them. Basically, try to be a patient patient and stay healthy and positive.
- Kathy
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