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In May of 2002, I began to have some pain and there was a lump in my breast. I know they say young women can have lumpy breasts, but I'd never had a lump before. So I went to the doctor three times over a few months and got turned away. I went in saying, "I think something's wrong. Can I get this checked out?" He looked at me, didn't even feel it for himself, and said, "You're young with no family history. It's nothing – go home." I went back a few weeks later and was turned away again. So I watched it for about six months and it grew, it hurt more, then it hurt some more. So I finally went out and started looking for a new doctor.
I finally found someone who said, "It's probably nothing, BUT let's get you in for an ultrasound just to be sure." I had the ultrasound, and they said, "Hmm, let's get you a mammogram." Then I had the mammogram, and they said, "Hmm, let's get you another mammogram, this time with some markers." And then they said, "Hmm, let's get you in for a biopsy."
It was September 9, 2002. I had my biopsy the day before my 25th birthday, and they called me to tell me I had breast cancer. I was three years out of college, just started my career, wasn't married at the time, had no kids, and those were very big issues for me at the time. I wasn't sure if I was gonna make it.
The treatment plan was a very difficult, scary time for me. But it turned out on October eighth I had a bilateral mastectomy. It was an early stage. I didn't need chemo, and since I'd done such a radical surgery, the rest of my treatment would be more conservative. Then we found out I was pregnant, which kind of threw some other interesting variables into the mix. It was a very difficult time for me. The one thing that got me through it all was the faith that everything would be okay. My daughter's middle name is actually Faith. Her whole name is Nayilah Faith. Nayilah is Swahili for "she will succeed." So she's keeping me very busy, my five-year-old.
From that initial diagnosis I became very active with some organizations, like Komen and the American Cancer Society. I helped found two chapters of Sisters' Network, which is an organization that focuses on spreading the word and trying to close the gap for disparities that exist for minorities when it comes to breast cancer. So I'm a co-founder of Sisters' Network Cincinnati and Sisters' Network Dayton, as well as Ohio's Pink Ribbon license plate, which raises money for people in treatment.
Fast-forward to 2006. I had a recurrence – I've done this twice. I had a local host mastectomy recurrence, which means that it came back in the breast we thought we had removed. If it can happen, it will. That's one of my mottos. That was tough for me. The second time, I had four months of chemotherapy and five weeks of radiation on top of that. Of course you go through losing your hair, which, initially, was difficult. At that time, I had several friends who had gone through it and they were very bold and brave women, and so they encouraged me. About a month in, I was wearing a bald head, wherever I went; I didn't worry about wigs and scarves unless it was a special occasion.
The one thing that I think really helped me was having (at the time) a three-year-old. She was my inspiration and kept me going on the really rough days. Sometimes she wore me out even more! On the other days, it was the little things that really helped me get through the day and kept me centered and focused. Things which, even now, keep me focused on what life is really about – you know, you don't sweat the small stuff anymore. My hair's grown back. I wear it super-short, and sometimes people think I'm still in treatment because of how short I wear it. I'm about a year and three months out from treatment.
The biggest things I've learned from these experiences are:
- It's not a death sentence. People hear the c word and automatically think about dying. At first, I didn't understand, either. But, my second time around I understood the fight was what was most important. I was a fighter and I wasn't going anywhere.
- You're never too young to have breast cancer. Don't let anyone tell you you're too young, you don't have family history, you're not at risk, blah, blah, blah.
- Early detection saves lives. It did for me, and for my daughter. If I hadn't found it when I did, she wouldn't be here and I wouldn't, either.
- Help other people get through it. Women going through treatment need support so badly.
- We are so close to the point where doctors can manage breast cancer, like blood pressure or diabetes. I have all the hope in the world that we'll find a cure.
- Jocelyn
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